Oom Sampie
von Jacques Pinard Brown (Copyright)
I walked under the shade of the big baobab tree onto the porch of the Marula Hotel. At the entrance I stepped inside the reception room, and turned right towards the bar.
Here was a small crowd of locals, gathered in the bar as they did each day. In the corner sat Oom Sampie, and next to him, Oom Herklaas. Oom Sampie was relaying one of his legendary tales, based on real life experiences he would assure any listener. Oom Sampie considered his stories gospel, and anyone who would dare question the truth thereof, soon met with the righteous fury of the colossal man. For this reason Oom Sampie’s stories where always accepted as fact, if only within his own earshot.
He turned to Oom Herklaas next to him and continued the tale he was busy telling; “Yes, and so I was called to old man Venter’s farm. He had these two groups of baboons on his farm who where in a state of continual conflict with each other. Their warfare with each other was so extreme that the old farmer’s entire farm was being laid to waste by their fighting. He’s crops and grazing had been utterly ruined by their battles with each other. So I went over to his place to see what I could do.
On arrival I immediately went over to where the two groups were busy hurling insults at each other over a little divide. The one group sat on a hill to my left, the other on a hill to my right, agitating each other mutually. In between the two hills ran a small mountain stream.
I took in position at the river between the two opposing groups and shouted above the jabbering racket; “Silence! Enough! Quiet!” whereupon they immediately fell silent. I turned to the group on my right and said;
“Barbarians! Savages! Heathens! Aren’t you ashamed of behaving yourselves like monkeys! Don’t you have any manners! Have you no self-respect? Send me down your leader.”
There was a scuffling among them and eventually a big male started to climb down the hill towards me.
In the meantime the other group found the chastisement of their rivals quite amusing, so I turned on them and shouted;
“Barbarians! Savages! Heathens! Have you no shame! Do you have no regard for your fellow baboons? What are you, a bunch of monkeys? Send me down your leader!”
They scuffled about in an embarrassed state before a large male appeared from among them and started to climb down the hill towards me, where I was standing at the river.
Both the big males approached me from opposing sides of the stream and I said to them;
“Come fellows, this is no way to settle your grievances, shake hands. Think of the future of your clans, if you consolidate your powers and work in harmony you can strip the farmers’ crops much more effectively. Think of your young and their future generations. Come, shake hands like civilized baboons, bury the hatchet, and make peace.”
The tears in their eyes told me they were moved by my speech, and then they shook hands over the river. Cheers of approval went up from the baboons on the hills and since that day there has been peace among those two baboon tribes. The old man payed me generously, and never had need for my services again.” Said Oom Sampie proudly as he concluded his story.
“Yes, it certainly seems as if you have a knack with animals, Sampie.” Said Oom Herklaas among the approving murmur in the bar.
I drink my beer and make no comment.